I only have a few minutes before I hop on a ferry that will take me across the (Puget) Sound to see my mom, who is nearing the end of her very long battle with melanoma (skin cancer). She’s my rock, man. This is gonna be tough.
BUT! (Good but!) Tonight will be my first night with the new sleeping medicine! FedEx is supposed to deliver it this morning, and then tonight will be the first time I take it. So if I react to the super-low starting dose, I will be waking up tomorrow after a night of deep sleep for the first time in my life. (Not counting when I’ve been super sick and my body didn’t know what to do other than sleep. But that’s not very restful, so it doesn’t quite count.)
Even better? Tomorrow is my birthday. So there’s a very good chance that my first birthday blessing will be waking from a night of restful sleep, rather than being exhausted and annoyed at the sun. At this point, I don’t care if I get my hopes up too high; even if I don’t sleep the best sleep of all the sleep that was ever sleepy, I’m excited at the prospect. Hopefully not so excited that I won’t sleep…though I imagine the medicine will help me there should the need arise.
So! My next post might be coming from a rested mind! I have no idea what that might look like. I wonder, will my mind still race all day just trying to break through the wall of brain fog? Will I still feel the need to push myself to stay positive and up-beat, or might that begin to come naturally? Will my body still blaze with pain in random places, or will sleep calm the fibromyalgia symptoms? I think my biggest question is this: what does it feel like to rise in the morning feeling even a little less drained than the night before? As far back as I can remember, I always wake feeling pretty much the same as the night before. Only less yawning (usually).
I am so excite!
Cheers to sleeping! -=Dee=-